Google Life

A few contemplative conversations and random observations, off late, have stirred up these thoughts in my mind. Ever since we’re born, we’re always on this perpetual quest. The quest of love, laughter and that of a fulfilling life.

As a child we want to be thrown up in the air, just so that someone lovingly holds us before we crash land into the ground. We want to be fed, and be fed well, or else we cry, *(Yea we all learn the art of emotional blackmail fairly early on in our lives). We also constantly want the attention. We want people to play with us, notice how amazing our dimples look when we smile. We want them to buy us the best presents when they come for our crazy birthday parties. We want them to sing and clap really loud for us just before they’ve deserved a small piece of their cake.

When we grow older, we crave for recognition. We crave for someone to like our new haircut, love our new bag, and go crazy over the new pair of denims we picked up. We also want someone to love our choice of restaurants, movies, music, women / men. We want them to go gaga over the latest gizmo we flaunt. We give in to the temptation of asking out the hottest girl / guy in our group, just so that if she / he happened to say yes to us, it would be an achievement which could potentially undermine the impact of man landing on the moon!!! And even if we are actually the lucky ones whom God has bestowed upon the gift of a boyfriend / girlfriend, why do we ensure that we try and exhibit our love for each other multiplied by at least a hundred, when we are amongst our other, not so lucky “single” friends?

As, professionals we take it upon ourselves, to plan the most exotic sounding holidays, not because we really want to go to those places, but just because they make us feel like Rocky Balboa amidst all the lesser mortals around us who we call ‘colleagues’. We want to get our hands onto the latest PDA phone so that awesomeness is exhibited in full throttle at work, even if it means that half our salary is guzzled up by this blackberry which is indeed going to make your life go sour.

Let’s admit it. We all have done one or all of the above things, at least once in our lifetimes. But have we asked ourselves as to why exactly did we feel the need to do it?

Impersonal contemplation is the secret of true perspective. Upon truthful introspection, I have come to realise that we humans are the most insecure creations of the Supreme. We have an innate insecurity of acceptance, the fear of rejection. We fear failure at all levels. We therefore want to do everything conceivable to never fail, and when we realise that this might not be possible, we immediately start focusing on developing ways which would help us hide our failures, or at least camouflage them amongst our successes.

We love our cocoons. It takes a while before we let someone in. Especially when our cocoon is so full of things, good and bad that we often run out of place to let someone in. We unknowingly tread the path of irreversible damage, when we fail to make that little space for our real selves in our own cocoons.

In these times of simplistic relationships, instant gratification and immediate responses to all conceivable queries, how we wish we could just Google some answers to life. How we wish it could throw up just perfectly logical solutions to problems of life which prima facie look so insurmountable. Ah, some people call “Religion / Faith” the Google of life, it is expected to throw up results every time you punch in your query, rooted through the medium of the most overworked professional I know of, “GOD”

Some others turn to weirder things like “Vagabondism” – conveniently adopting the “Que Sera Sera” approach, as if to imply that what happens to them is in reality not really of their own doing, it’s happening to them, because God wants it that way, and they, are least bothered.

And then there are some, who are the worst form of control freaks. They want to control everything, including their own destinies. And if that doesn’t quite happen as per their plan, they’re willing to pick up a fight, at the drop of a hat. God and Fate are usually their preferred opponents.

I however, chose to look within. I think I’m my own Google. My own Wikipedia. Whatever there is to know, I know it, just that I’m yet to have full cognizance of it. And I really have no problems in waiting till He thinks the time is right for me to know of it. Instead of looking outwards for answers, I’d rather listen to my own self. This way, I negate the chance of blaming someone else for things that don’t really go right for me, nor do I share credit for all the successes! The next time, you have a life issue that you think you need answers for, I suggest, instead of taking advice from all the ‘gyaanis’ willing to offer help, look within. Just Google life, I’m sure, you’re the best search engine for yourself.

The Awakening - Sonny Carroll

A life changing article I read....A little long... but it's only when you read it completely do you understand the life changing qualities of it!! Thought it best to share!

There comes a time in your life when you finally get it ... When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out "ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on." And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world from a new perspective.

..........This is your awakening

You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for something or someone to change, or for happiness safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that there aren't always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you. Then a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

So you begin making your way through the "reality of today" rather than holding out for the "promise of tomorrow." You realize that much of who you are and the way you navigate through life is, in great part, a result of all the social conditioning you've received over the course of a lifetime. And you begin to sift through all the nonsense you were taught about :

- how you should look and how much you should weigh,
- what you should wear and where you should shop,
- where you should live or what type of car you should drive,
- who you should sleep with and how you should behave,
- who you should marry and why you should stay,
- the importance of bearing children or what you owe your family,

Slowly you begin to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin re-assessing and re-defining who you are and what you really believe in. And you begin to discard the doctrines you have outgrown, or should never have practiced to begin with.

You accept the fact that you are not perfect ,and that not everyone will love appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK... they are entitled to their own views and opinions. And, you come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a "perfect 10".... Or a perfect human being for that matter... and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head or agonizing over how you compare. And, you take a long look at yourself in the mirror and you make a promise to give yourself the same unconditional love and support you give so freely to others. Then a sense of confidence is born of self-approval.

And, you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" hungry for your next fix, a new dress, another pair of shoes or looks of approval and admiration from family, friends or even strangers who pass by. Then you discover that it is truly in "giving" that we receive, and that the joy and abundance you seek grows out of the giving. And you recognize the importance of "creating" and "contributing" rather than "obtaining" and "accumulating."

And you give thanks for the simple things you've been blessed with, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about - a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, the freedom of choice and the opportunity to pursue your own dreams.

And you begin to love and to care for yourself. You stop engaging in self-destructive behaviors, including participating in dysfunctional relationships. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and exercising. And because you've learned that fatigue drains the spirit and creates doubt and fear, you give yourself permission to rest. And just as food is fuel for the body, laughter is fuel for the spirit and so you make it a point to create time for play.

Then you learn about love and relationships - how to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. And you allow only the hands of a lover who truly loves and respects you to glorify you with his touch. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say, intentionally or unintentionally, and that not everyone will always come through... and interestingly enough, it's not always about you. So, you stop lashing out and pointing fingers or looking to place blame for the things that were done to you or weren't done for you. And you learn to keep your Ego in check and to acknowledge and redirect the destructive emotions it spawns - anger, jealousy and resentment.

You learn how to say "I was wrong" and to forgive people for their own human frailties. You learn to build bridges instead of walls and about the healing power of love as it is expressed through a kind word, a warm smile or a friendly gesture. And, at the same time, you eliminate any relationships that are hurtful or fail to uplift and edify you. You stop working so hard at smoothing things over and setting your needs aside. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right to want or expect certain things. And you learn the importance of communicating your needs with confidence and grace. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that eventually martyrs are burned at the stake. Then you learn to distinguish between guilt, and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to Say NO. You learn that you don't know all the answers, it's not your job to save the world and that sometimes you just need to Let Go.

Moreover, you learn to look at people as they really are and not as you would want them to be, and you are careful not to project your neediness or insecurities onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and relationships, and that that not everyone can always love you the way you would want them to. So you stop appraising your worth by the measure of love you are given. And suddenly you realize that it's wrong to demand that someone live their life or sacrifice their dreams just to serve your needs, ease your insecurities, or meet "your" standards and expectations. You learn that the only love worth giving and receiving is the love that is given freely without conditions or limitations. And you learn what it means to love. So you stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that "alone" does not mean "lonely" and you begin to discover the joy of spending time "with yourself" and "on yourself." Then you discover the greatest and most fulfilling love you will ever know - Self Love. And so it comes to pass that, through understanding, your heart heals; and now all new things are possible.

Moving along, you begin to avoid Toxic people and conversations. And you stop wasting time and energy rehashing your situation with family and friends. You learn that talk doesn't change things and that unrequited wishes can only serve to keep you trapped in the past. So you stop lamenting over what could or should have been and you make a decision to leave the past behind. Then you begin to invest your time and energy to affect positive change. You take a personal inventory of all your strengths and weaknesses and the areas you need to improve in order to move ahead, you set your goals and map out a plan of action to see things through.

You learn that life isn't always fair and you don't always get what you think you deserve, and you stop personalizing every loss or disappointment. You learn to accept that sometimes bad things happen to good people and that these things are not an act of God... but merely a random act of fate.

And you stop looking for guarantees, because you've learned that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected and that whatever happens, you'll learn to deal with it. And you learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time - FEAR itself. So you learn to step right into and through your fears, because to give into fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. You learn that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophesy and you learn to go after what you want and not to squander your life living under a cloud of indecision or feelings of impending doom.

Then, YOU LEARN ABOUT MONEY... the personal power and independence it brings and the options it creates. And you recognize the necessity to create your own personal wealth. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And a sense of power is born of self-reliance. And you live with honor and integrity because you know that these principles are not the outdated ideals of a by-gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build your life. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful opportunity and exciting possibility. Then you hang a wind chime outside your window to remind yourself what beauty there is in Simplicity.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you FAKE a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

A word about the Power of Prayer: In some of my darkest, most painful and frightening hours, I have prayed, not for the answers to my prayers or for material things, but for my "God" to help me find the strength, confidence and courage to persevere; to face each day and to do what I must do.

Remember this:- You are an expression of the almighty. The spirit of God resides within you and moves through you. Open your heart, speak to that spirit and it will heal and empower you.
My "God" has never failed me.

The Seeker's Song....

I’ve loved, I’ve laughed, I’ve lived and cried,
Every trick in the book I’ve certainly tried.

Success and fame are my loyal pets,
I made a killing on every one of my bets.

I’ve traveled the world over and oceans wide,
I’ve also brought my people honour and pride.

So many of my friends I’ve always bailed,
Seldom before in a venture I’ve ever failed.

Yet somehow at the dusk of my life,
I feel the emptiness and an internal strife.

There’s an urge to hold onto all things fine,
I guess it’s the insecurity of being past my prime.

I’m a seeker and till death I shall seek,
A little bit of love and a caring person to speak,

Death is inevitable and soon it will arrive,
But at that moment I wonder, will there be someone who wished I was alive?

Take my message, to you my heart I pour,
What good is success? does it matter how high you soar?

If at the end, you lament and say…..
"There isn't a single person on this planet,
who gets to know my everything anymore."

Yeh Safar - यह सफ़र...

One of my favourite songs.. with the best lyrics to pep you up when you're feeling low..

Song - Yeh Safar...
Movie - 1942 A Love Story
Music - R.D. Burman
*(This album was his last before he passed away... According to me arguably his best work)
Lyrics - Javed Akhtar
Singer - Shivaji Chatterjee


दिल ना उम्मीद तो नहीं, नाकाम ही तो है,
लम्बी है ग़म की शाम, मगर शाम ही तो है,

यह सफ़र बहुत है कठिन मगर,
न उदास हो मेरे हमसफ़र,

यह सितम की रात है ढलने को,
है अँधेरा ग़म का पिघलने को,
(ज़रा देर इसमें लगे अगर) - २

न उदास हो मेरे हमसफ़र,

नहीं रहनेवाली यह मुश्किलें,
है यह अगले मोड पे मंज़िले,
(मेरी बात का तू यकीन कर) - २

न उदास हो मेरे हमसफ़र,

कभी ढून्ढ लेगा ये कारवां,
वोह नयी जमीन नया आसमान,
(जिससे ढूँढती है तेरी नज़र) - २

न उदास हो मेरे हमसफ़र,

नीड़ का निर्माण फिर फिर - Need ka Nirman fir fir

This is one of my favorite poems.

I make it a point to read it when I'm down and almost out.... :-)



नीड़ का निर्माण फिर फिर, नेह का आह्वान फिर फिर

यह उठी आंधी की नभ में छा गया सहसा अँधेरा

धुलिधुसर बादलों ने धरती को इस भाँती घेरा

रात सा दिन हो गया फिर रात आई और काली

लग रहा था अब न होगा इस निशा का फिर सवेरा

रात के उत्पात-भय से भीत जन जन भीत कण कण

किन्तु प्राची से उषा की मोहिनी मुस्कान फिर फिर

नीड़ का निर्माण फिर फिर .....

क्रुद्ध नभ के वज्रदंतो में उषा है मुस्कुराती

घोर-गर्जनमय गगन ने कंठ में खग-पंक्ति गाती

एक चिडिया चोंच में तिनका लिए जो जा रही हैं

वह सहज में ही पवन उनचास को नीचा दिखाती

नाश के भय से कभी दबता नहीं निर्माण का सुख

प्रलय की निस्तब्धता में सृष्टि का नवगान फिर फिर

नीड़ का निर्माण फिर फिर....

कवी - हरिवंशराय बच्चन

The Muted Roar....

The concrete jungle I live in, is a great place to be,
But I’m no great fan of the tiger you see.

The Old creature, way past his prime,
Still living in his archaic time,
Just refuses to let the jungle be,
The concrete jungle I live in, is a great place to be,
But I’m no great fan of the tiger you see.

He seems to have a problem with the animals here,
He says he likes the donkeys but he hates the deer.
His fear of loosing power is for all to see.
The concrete jungle I live in, is a great place to be,
But I’m no great fan of the tiger you see.

Violence is his virtue, threatening others, his plot,
Two of his cubs, keep fighting each other a lot,
Who succeeds him doesn’t affect me,
The concrete jungle I live in, is a great place to be,
But I’m no great fan of the tiger you see.

He’s always been a bully, telling us to shut up,
Either talk his language or rename our shop,
Most annoying of his vices, is his misplaced priority,
The concrete jungle I live in, is a great place to be,
But I’m no great fan of the tiger you see.

All these years, we let him roar,
Honestly, now, he’s just a big bore.
Let’s just mute the roar, and set the poor ‘ol chap free,
The concrete jungle I live in, is a great place to be,
But I’m no great fan of the tiger you see.

It is the end, my prophecy states,
We no longer subscribe to the policy that hates,
Waiting to read the obituary of the T – Company,
The concrete jungle I live in, is a great place to be,
But I’m no great fan of the tiger you see.

An open letter to my soul mate...

Dear Girl,

I feel that time has come for me to find my soul mate, my companion. I know you’re out there somewhere. Don’t worry, I’ll find you.

And when I do, I hope that you’ll love me because I’m Himanshu and not because of anything else. I hope you won’t get embarrassed when my clothes don’t match or be annoyed when I want to watch the last over of the cricket match. I’ll run and call you the minute the last ball is bowled. And I promise to never call you while you’re busy watching the rerun of your favourite season of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. or Desperate Housewives.

I hope that you will remember that I love Yash Chopra Movies, not Quentin Tarantino, and that I love Shah Rukh Khan more than Aamir, and that I love the mindless comedies of Jim Carey as much as I love classics like Pursuit of Happyness and Juno.

I love reading, cooking, writing poetry, having long conversations, and also love taking long walks by the sea face. And if I cry in front of you in a movie, please don’t laugh at me. Please know that I am sensitive … in a manly, tough kind of a way.

I know, I’m not the best looking man around. I also know that my receding hairline can at times be the inspiration for my friend’s jokes. But I know that God has spent enough time giving me and my heart a big enough size to be able to accommodate all of this with a smile.

I pray that you’ll love me despite my tendency to forget birthdays, and if we happen to go out with your friends for dinner, please write their names really small on my hand so I can use it as reference. I’m a teacher and I love classical music and art. I also am a believer and pray at least once a day. Hope you don’t find any of those very “uncool”.

Please know that I will constantly act strong and in control, but inside I am actually lost and confused. *(Just don’t tell my friends). Understand that loving each other means being together, but not all the time. We should never bail on our friends. Also understand that I may at times act jealous and overtly protective, but only because I have insecurities and not because you are doing anything wrong.

Please be honest with me without being hurtful.I promise to always be honest with you, because you deserve honesty. And I promise to open doors for you and buy your ticket when we go to the movies. Please let me do it, because it makes me feel nice. Not because I’m trying to put up a false show of chivalry for you to get impressed. *We can go Dutch when we eat out though.

And no, you’re not fat, or ugly. You don’t even need make up either. So don’t ever feel the need to ask any of the above. Oh, and don’t be upset if you’ve cut your hair and I don’t notice. I will love you even in Jeans and a T Shirt.

I hope you don’t think I’m asking too much of you. I just want to be happy making you happy. I’m coming to find you, so don’t go anywhere. Stay where you are, whoever you are. Any by the way, my name’s Himanshu.

Yours lovingly,
Himanshu

कुछ सवाल...

जैसे दो यार मिले नुक्कड़ पे,
वैसे ही तुझसे आज, मिलने को जी करता है।
माओ के आंसु बनकर बह गए जो,
वोह सवाल तुझसे आज करने को जी करता है।


नन्ही कलि जो कुचली थी तुने,
नफ़रत का बीज बोया था जो,
हजारों घर जो उजाड़े है तुने,
बच्चों को अनाथ कर आया था वोह,
हर उस बच्चे की चीख सुनाकर तुझको,
तेरी चैन की नींद का इंतज़ार करनेको जी करता है।
माओ के आंसु बनकर बह गए जो,
वोह सवाल तुझसे आज करने को जी करता है।


तेरी गोली के शिकार हुए उस शख्स की,
बेवा जब फूट फूट कर रोती है,
मैं भी यह देखना चाहता हूँ की,
एस लाचारी की ख़ुशी आखिर कैसी होती है।
तेरी एस कमियाबी में आज,
शरीक होकर जष्न मनाने को जी करता है।
माओ के आंसु बनकर बह गए जो,
वोह सवाल तुझसे आज करने को जी करता है।


तू तो फिर भी इंसान है, आज नहीं तो कल जायेगा,
तेरे जाने से भी मेरा, कुछ खास फायेदा नहीं हो पायेगा।
तुझे ज़िन्दगी बक्श के आज,
तेरी सोच का क़त्ल करनेको जी करता है।
माओ के आंसु बनकर बह गए जो,
वोह सवाल तुझसे आज करने को जी करता है।

How To Kill Hope? - A Letter To A Dear Friend!

Life is indeed strange. Just a few months back, I did not know this person, but once we started talking, I realized that I know her as well or probably better than she knows herself. So, like we do very often, we were having this extremely interesting night conversation about relationships and hope. How the two are interlinked. We fondly call these talks of ours “Therapy”!!! And during the course of this heart to heart convo, there I was, thrown this question at me. “So tell me, how can I kill hope?” ………………… this sentence was followed by a prolonged silence from me, which is quite unusual and strange for a non stop chatterbox that I am. “Yes, go on, tell me, How to kill hope?”

There are some questions that make you think, and then, there are some that don’t let you sleep! This one was definitely the latter kinds. I told her, “This is so cool, thanks for giving me a topic I can think on, and blog about. I will reply to your question through my article.” And here I am, writing this piece, despite being devoid of sleep due to this lingering thought and a suspected rat in my room since yesterday!

How to kill hope?

By definition, “Hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life.” Hope is the feeling that, what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. So, in essence, hope is nothing but a glorified hypothesis.

Hope was personified in Greek mythology as Elpis. When Pandora opened Pandora's Box, she let out all the evils except one: hope. Apparently, the Greeks considered hope to be as dangerous as all the world's evils. But without hope to accompany all their troubles, humanity was filled with despair. It was a great relief when Pandora revisited her box and let out hope as well. It may be worthy to note that in the story, hope is represented as weakly leaving the box, but is in effect far more potent than any of the major evils.

So, if you put hope in context to human relationships, especially the ones that haven’t gone terribly right, what is the effect? Human relationships are inherently weird. At least I believe so. When we think we know all the answers, life comes and changes all the questions.

All our young lives we search for someone to love. Someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope... all the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, there's someone perfect... who might be searching for us. And in this pursuit of finding that ONE made for us, we let our heart weep every now and then. That’s when we feel the need to cling onto hope, catch hold of the last straw, and make ourselves believe that Yes, What I had, was indeed the ONE… let me do everything I can to save it. We disguise hope, and keep giving it to ourselves in its falsest form, knowing fully well that we are just catering to our subconscious, just because we don’t feel like letting it go, just yet.

Change is never easy. You fight to hold on. You fight to let go. We forget that If we have to emphasize or defend the importance of something, then it probably isn't that important in the first place. I guess sometimes the ground can shift between your feet. Sometimes your footing slips. You stumble. And sometimes you grab what's close to you and hold on as tight as you can by calling it hope.
Over the course of our average lifetime we meet a lot of people. Some of them
stick with us through thick and thin. Some weave their way through our life
and disappear forever. But once in a while someone comes along who earns a
permanent place in our hearts. We just don’t realize that we should wait for that one to find us rather than clinging onto false hopes we’ve gifted ourselves about the one who never deserved us in the first place.

Growing up and out of relationships is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what's to come. But I think, subconsciously, we know it is time to let go of what has been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, we don't have to hate each other for getting over. We just have to forgive ourselves... for moving on, just because that’s the right thing to do. In essence, you don’t really need to “Kill Hope”. Just place hope where it deserves to be placed. On those better things, beautiful people, memorable times, prepare for the magic called life that is just waiting to unfold!! And yea, do it with a smile, she’ll feel welcomed!! :-)

25 Random Things About Me...

I put this up on facebook, because I was tagged in this silly game where one needs to mention 25 things about themselves.... I'm sharing this here too....


1) I’m doing this not for putting these things up here or letting the world know about myself, but for the sheer pleasure of self discovery!!!

2) I’m an emotional fool, I love people and things very easily, I get attached to them too soon, but I CANNOT express how I feel about them…

3) I really respect women a lot… Mom, aunt, grandma and few of my best friends…. Basically all the people I’ve been closest to are women!!

4) I think my school days were the best times of my life, I wish I could go back to school…

5)I think leadership is all about converting people’s potential into performance… I think I am a good leader…

6)An ideal start to my day is spending an hour uninterrupted on the pot with my three newspapers Times of India, Economic Times & DNA :-)

7) I think, having bought my mom a fully automatic LG washing machine from my savings is my biggest achievement till date.

8) I love talking to people on the phone, especially in the night, somewhere down the line I picked up this habit and now I feel restless and at times & don’t get sound sleep without talking on the phone.

9) A walk at the Marine Drive sea face is my biggest stress buster..

10) I am a hopeless romantic. I love SRK. I am a HUGEEE fan of Yash Chopra movies. I dream of walking at the sea face on a windy monsoon evening, hand in hand with my wife and my daughter in a pram!!

11) I guess the biggest achievement for any man is to find a loving partner who cares for him and with whom he can spend the rest of his life happily.

12) I am quite a people’s person, I know for sure that whatever I’ll do for a living, will have something to do with people, be it HR or Law or something random… I really don’t know.

13) I really think, All men are what they think women really are, and all women are what men have always wanted to be!

14) I am extremely spiritually inclined, I believe in God, I feel that truthful a prayer does get answered. I am also an eternal optimist.

15) I love my music. I really like devotional music. Indian folk, ghazals, smooth romantic classics, Indian classical music and sufi music really stirs my soul. I have an uncanny liking towards all songs having the word “Rabba / Rab” in the lyrics.

16) I love ice creams, Im especially crazy about raspberry duet & go mad about choco nut.

17) My favourite beverage would be an ice cream soda or an apple juice.

18) I’ve cried in a lot of movies… I still remember Khamoshi & Black!!!

19) I’m sure that the happiest day of my life would be the day I become a father!... (Oh I so identify with Steve Martin in Father of the bride!!)

20) I think the best of the TV shows are all now sadly off air, Dekh Bhai Dekh, Zaban Sambhalke, Wonder Years…… wish they showed all these again instead of stupid reality shows!!

21) If I ever had to propose to a girl, I’d do it by singing, Ronan Keating’s “It’s amazing how you, can speak right to my heart….”

22) Some of my most favourite possessions are my books, I love reading them, I truly get inspired by them. My mood, thoughts and actions are influenced by what I read.

23) My favourite pastime besides, teaching, reading, writing, blogging, sea face walking and talking on the phone is to sing to myself, either in the bathroom or in my balcony. I also dream of being a bestselling author someday!!

24) I am a keen follower of Indian politics and nurture a secret ambition of being a mainstream politician one day. I also think I’d make a rather good one!!

25) I love myself, I loved myself even more when I was a kid. I think I was the cutest kid ever, I also modeled for Femina when I was three, I still have the clipping.

26) I love defying rules. What the hell, I’ll put down a 26th point too. I am at times very insecure, I feel I have no friends and I am extremely lonely. I sit at home and sulk sometimes on weekends. In short I just need to be told that ...I’m loved :-)

Wangdu's Wisdom...

Dear World,

Now, this was a deliberate beginning to my letter. Not “Hey ssup” or “Wazzaaa” or “Howdy” like 98.37% of other people my age would have begun. I preferred to begin with the traditional salutation, not because my 4th grade English teacher taught me that is how it should be done, but out of my own sheer preference for the way I felt all the readers of this letter should be addressed.

Anyway, I just want to share with you my views on this really nice movie I saw lately. I also learn that it has gone on to become the highest grossing bollywood movie of all time cashing in 2.4 Billion Rupees or USD 51 Million and counting. Right since the time I saw “3i” or “3 Idiots”, there have been these thoughts in my mind about the true message that the movie conveys. Actually, not really what the movie conveys, rather what should I actually be making of it. What’s my takeaway? Is being Chatur, foolishness? Can all of us really be Phunsukh Wangdu? How really does the youth of this country think? Do we think at all?

The movie is a beautiful take on defying convention, on the art of friendship, on heeding to your heart’s call, on prioritization in life, on prioritizing life over escapist measures like a suicide. The movie is a brilliantly non preachy take on the pressures faced by the youth in India. But it also states that this pressure is self created. It suggests some rather cheesy, but outrageously workable methods of crisis management. It also makes a much deserved mockery of our educational systems which propagate the herd mentality, discourage out of the box thinking, I wonder if they really want us to think at all or just blindly follow. Imagine even the dean of the college looking up the thick encyclopedias for the meanings to the terms “Farhanitrate” and “Prerajulization”!!!!!!

It also peeps into the heart of aspirational India. An India which is not shining, neither is it incredible, bur still savors an ambition of social upward mobility and considers the dysfunctional education system a catalyst in its pursuit. The movie wonderfully pampers a rebel. It encourages change. It seeks to incubate innovation. It shatters the premise of social conformity to the systems and conventions. And while doing all of this, it also teaches us a thing or two about the sheer non materialistic nature of true love.

Having said all this, my most important takeaway from the movie still remains the fact that the movie appreciates “being different”. All through my growing up years, I’ve never been able to confine myself to one set of ideas, people, behaviours or interests. I love being MYSELF. And most of our youth today, as I see it, is trying to FIT IN to the social definitions of what’s COOL… rather than creating a niche for themselves and taking real pride in who they are! It is more important to people of my age to think, act and behave according to what everyone else thinks will be cool.

We want to do things, not because we like doing them, but because if we did them, our friends would think a certain way about us. We are too concerned in trying to please almost everyone apart from ourselves. We use social networking to connect with hundreds of our friends, but I think our generation has miserably failed in connecting with themselves. Anything “different” is usually questioned, looked down upon and sometimes even humiliated rather than being appreciated for its talent and interests.

Imagine telling your friends that you hate the concept of partying on Saturday Night and would rather enjoy an Indian classical music recital by Kishori Amonkar. Imagine you don’t want to go out drinking and dancing away on X - Mas eve but you wish to spend the day with the kids at the orphanage or go for the midnight mass at the Church. Imagine the reaction of your friends when you’d tell them that you’re going hiking to welcome the New Year or attend a poetry reading of the works of Kabir on 31st night rather than welcoming the New Year with a hangover. I’m sure each one of us can gauge the response our peers are likely to throw at us.

For me the greatest takeaway was the confidence that Rancho had, to reclaim his identity as Phunsukh Wangdu and make it sought after enough for a Silicon Valley dude to come to India chasing him all the way upto Ladakh. The bright spot of the movie really is the confidence with which Wangdu signs the “Declaration of Defeat” fully knowing that he’s the real winner. 3i tells you to pursue your passions, so that success will eventually have to follow you. (Khud hi ko kar buland itna… ke har taqdeer se pehle… khuda bande se khud pooche, bataa, teri raza kya hai?) It gives you the courage to be the schoolteacher Wangdu, rather than being “Chatur” a man in a mad rush to pursue material pleasures of a well paid job and the luxuries of life. Untill we realise these things… “All is well”!!!

Best regards,

Himanshu Kapadia