Special 26

At 26, life is a lot like our wardrobes, organised in parts but largely all over the place. It’s that time we realize that childhood has ditched us and long moved on. Adulthood is like an uninvited guest. It's here, but we hardly want to acknowledge its presence!

 26, is also slightly confusing. Almost like the sudden commercial break that pops up, while you're engrossed in the climax of an intense romantic drama on TV. You don't know what to do when it hits you. It makes you feel empowered and in control of things, people and situations. You feel, it's your time. You're poised for world domination. Dreams suddenly seem achievable. And then one day, you cry like a baby, when your girlfriend / boyfriend break up with you citing "Compatibility Issues"

It also makes you that much more vulnerable. Vulnerable because you know you've grown out of being the boy who wanted to party each weekend but you haven't yet fully grown into being a man who can enjoy a single malt and a hearty conversation for a Saturday night!

You're independent but still the second signatory to your bank account after your dad. Your mom trusts the maid over you to get the best bargain on the monthly grocery shopping despite you acing your dissertation on contract negotiation in your final semester.

26, it’s a bit like entering the 8th grade in school. It leaves you puzzled whether to be happy about the transition to trousers or be sad about the fact that you're still not eligible to be appointed the Head Boy. It is largely a confusion that arises out of expectations, partly those that emanate from others, largely the residue of complexities of the ones which are your own.

The phase, a paradox of emotions, gives you the high of gloating in your new-found confidence which gets credited with your salary every beginning of the month. Short-lived though, only to be deflated by the information that your college buddy who's Haka Noodles lunch you paid for in college, spends that much on his weeknight out with his office colleagues. His visiting card carries the logo of the company you've yearned to work for and his assistant informs you that he's travelling to Cannes / The Oscars to look for good content when you call his office, while his cell phone is out of coverage area.

A Facebook status update / a pic tweeted by your school friend whose greatest achievement for life you thought would be graduating college without an ATKT is  surrounded by ladies on the red carpet. You read on and figure that he's touted to be the next big thing in Bollywood and his Foursquare update a week later reads ... "ABC just checked in at Eiffel Tower, Paris" with his moronic smile bulging out of the picture. This phase has a special talent at making you feel big one moment and belittling your ego the next!

Adding to that, at 26, you also realize that the world as you know it, can be divided into 3 kinds of people - 'Engaged', 'To be married' and 'Newly Married' people. These 3 categories will encapsulate the entire spectrum of mankind to have ever walked on this planet. Your Facebook timeline starts resembling a wedding album and the Foursquare check in updates of your friends could be easily compiled into the list of best honeymoon destinations around the world.

All your crushes have found their crushes leaving you crushed. The neighbor who thought you were ‘Cute’ as a kid now refuses to recognize you when you ask for the spare key to your house when parents are away.

Yes, I know, 26 is a time, that can make you wish the Mayans were right. It drives you nuts. It personifies insanity. It's insane.

However, it is also special. It’s special because it allows you the space to discover your true friends, your hobbies and interests, at a point, discover your true self. It makes you expressive beyond your own imagination. It sensitizes you in its own unique way to human emotions, the way you never felt them before.

 It makes you realize the importance of family. It makes you realize what it takes to be truly ‘happy’. It pushes you against the walls. It enables you to nurture and cultivate responsibility, without thrusting it upon you accidentally. It makes you stronger without killing you.

While you dance to the song of heartbreak and love, yearning for the ‘Perfect one’ to be with, you don’t realise that it is this 26, which makes you a better person. A person your ‘Perfect One’ would love to be with!

When love beckons...

"When love beckons to you, follow him; though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you, yield to him; though the sword hidden among his opinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you, believe in him; though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden. For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning. Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth...... 

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure, Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor, Into the season less world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears. Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. 

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love. And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself. 

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love; And to bleed willingly and joyfully."

— Khalil Gibran

WE - by Anuj Gosalia

I found myself tagged again on a note on Facebook.... It was from my buddy Anuj Gosalia who is indeed a thought provoking writer...

This one, was definitely made me think... It deserved to be shared as it struck a chord with me.. It articulated things which we all know, but refuse to acknowledge. Happy reading...


We, creatures of hope.
Stare into infinite sky from bottomless pits.


We, creatures of faith.
Trust infidels with bleeding hearts.
We, creatures of fame.
Burn ourselves for the afterglow.
We, creatures of lust.
Sleep in hypocrisies of love.
We, creatures of money.
Part with when ample. Like love.

We, creatures of prayer.
Silent, selfish and sporadic.
We, creatures of love.
In guises of insecurity and egotism.
We, creatures of inadequacy.
Cynical, sometimes real.
We, are more often than not.
Creatures exactly like me!!

The Seeker's Song....

I’ve loved, I’ve laughed, I’ve lived and cried,
Every trick in the book I’ve certainly tried.

Success and fame are my loyal pets,
I made a killing on every one of my bets.

I’ve traveled the world over and oceans wide,
I’ve also brought my people honour and pride.

So many of my friends I’ve always bailed,
Seldom before in a venture I’ve ever failed.

Yet somehow at the dusk of my life,
I feel the emptiness and an internal strife.

There’s an urge to hold onto all things fine,
I guess it’s the insecurity of being past my prime.

I’m a seeker and till death I shall seek,
A little bit of love and a caring person to speak,

Death is inevitable and soon it will arrive,
But at that moment I wonder, will there be someone who wished I was alive?

Take my message, to you my heart I pour,
What good is success? does it matter how high you soar?

If at the end, you lament and say…..
"There isn't a single person on this planet,
who gets to know my everything anymore."

An open letter to my soul mate...

Dear Girl,

I feel that time has come for me to find my soul mate, my companion. I know you’re out there somewhere. Don’t worry, I’ll find you.

And when I do, I hope that you’ll love me because I’m Himanshu and not because of anything else. I hope you won’t get embarrassed when my clothes don’t match or be annoyed when I want to watch the last over of the cricket match. I’ll run and call you the minute the last ball is bowled. And I promise to never call you while you’re busy watching the rerun of your favourite season of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. or Desperate Housewives.

I hope that you will remember that I love Yash Chopra Movies, not Quentin Tarantino, and that I love Shah Rukh Khan more than Aamir, and that I love the mindless comedies of Jim Carey as much as I love classics like Pursuit of Happyness and Juno.

I love reading, cooking, writing poetry, having long conversations, and also love taking long walks by the sea face. And if I cry in front of you in a movie, please don’t laugh at me. Please know that I am sensitive … in a manly, tough kind of a way.

I know, I’m not the best looking man around. I also know that my receding hairline can at times be the inspiration for my friend’s jokes. But I know that God has spent enough time giving me and my heart a big enough size to be able to accommodate all of this with a smile.

I pray that you’ll love me despite my tendency to forget birthdays, and if we happen to go out with your friends for dinner, please write their names really small on my hand so I can use it as reference. I’m a teacher and I love classical music and art. I also am a believer and pray at least once a day. Hope you don’t find any of those very “uncool”.

Please know that I will constantly act strong and in control, but inside I am actually lost and confused. *(Just don’t tell my friends). Understand that loving each other means being together, but not all the time. We should never bail on our friends. Also understand that I may at times act jealous and overtly protective, but only because I have insecurities and not because you are doing anything wrong.

Please be honest with me without being hurtful.I promise to always be honest with you, because you deserve honesty. And I promise to open doors for you and buy your ticket when we go to the movies. Please let me do it, because it makes me feel nice. Not because I’m trying to put up a false show of chivalry for you to get impressed. *We can go Dutch when we eat out though.

And no, you’re not fat, or ugly. You don’t even need make up either. So don’t ever feel the need to ask any of the above. Oh, and don’t be upset if you’ve cut your hair and I don’t notice. I will love you even in Jeans and a T Shirt.

I hope you don’t think I’m asking too much of you. I just want to be happy making you happy. I’m coming to find you, so don’t go anywhere. Stay where you are, whoever you are. Any by the way, my name’s Himanshu.

Yours lovingly,
Himanshu

How To Kill Hope? - A Letter To A Dear Friend!

Life is indeed strange. Just a few months back, I did not know this person, but once we started talking, I realized that I know her as well or probably better than she knows herself. So, like we do very often, we were having this extremely interesting night conversation about relationships and hope. How the two are interlinked. We fondly call these talks of ours “Therapy”!!! And during the course of this heart to heart convo, there I was, thrown this question at me. “So tell me, how can I kill hope?” ………………… this sentence was followed by a prolonged silence from me, which is quite unusual and strange for a non stop chatterbox that I am. “Yes, go on, tell me, How to kill hope?”

There are some questions that make you think, and then, there are some that don’t let you sleep! This one was definitely the latter kinds. I told her, “This is so cool, thanks for giving me a topic I can think on, and blog about. I will reply to your question through my article.” And here I am, writing this piece, despite being devoid of sleep due to this lingering thought and a suspected rat in my room since yesterday!

How to kill hope?

By definition, “Hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life.” Hope is the feeling that, what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. So, in essence, hope is nothing but a glorified hypothesis.

Hope was personified in Greek mythology as Elpis. When Pandora opened Pandora's Box, she let out all the evils except one: hope. Apparently, the Greeks considered hope to be as dangerous as all the world's evils. But without hope to accompany all their troubles, humanity was filled with despair. It was a great relief when Pandora revisited her box and let out hope as well. It may be worthy to note that in the story, hope is represented as weakly leaving the box, but is in effect far more potent than any of the major evils.

So, if you put hope in context to human relationships, especially the ones that haven’t gone terribly right, what is the effect? Human relationships are inherently weird. At least I believe so. When we think we know all the answers, life comes and changes all the questions.

All our young lives we search for someone to love. Someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope... all the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, there's someone perfect... who might be searching for us. And in this pursuit of finding that ONE made for us, we let our heart weep every now and then. That’s when we feel the need to cling onto hope, catch hold of the last straw, and make ourselves believe that Yes, What I had, was indeed the ONE… let me do everything I can to save it. We disguise hope, and keep giving it to ourselves in its falsest form, knowing fully well that we are just catering to our subconscious, just because we don’t feel like letting it go, just yet.

Change is never easy. You fight to hold on. You fight to let go. We forget that If we have to emphasize or defend the importance of something, then it probably isn't that important in the first place. I guess sometimes the ground can shift between your feet. Sometimes your footing slips. You stumble. And sometimes you grab what's close to you and hold on as tight as you can by calling it hope.
Over the course of our average lifetime we meet a lot of people. Some of them
stick with us through thick and thin. Some weave their way through our life
and disappear forever. But once in a while someone comes along who earns a
permanent place in our hearts. We just don’t realize that we should wait for that one to find us rather than clinging onto false hopes we’ve gifted ourselves about the one who never deserved us in the first place.

Growing up and out of relationships is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what's to come. But I think, subconsciously, we know it is time to let go of what has been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, we don't have to hate each other for getting over. We just have to forgive ourselves... for moving on, just because that’s the right thing to do. In essence, you don’t really need to “Kill Hope”. Just place hope where it deserves to be placed. On those better things, beautiful people, memorable times, prepare for the magic called life that is just waiting to unfold!! And yea, do it with a smile, she’ll feel welcomed!! :-)

Freedom - A Disturbing Thought!!

“Into the heaven of freedom my father, let my country awake”, wrote Rabindranath Tagore, the Nobel laureate from India. I thought of this today and wondered in amazement. Do I really know what freedom is? What does freedom mean to me? What would it mean to others around me? I just thought of the few people and wondered what freedom would mean to them?

Just began thinking… and believe me, there came a point of time, where I just couldn’t, rather didn’t want to think anymore. I’ll just express my thoughts here and leave it for you to figure out what freedom would mean to these people, what it means to you.

Savita:

The first one I thought was a running, scrambling, struggling lady trying to fight her way into the 6:34 p.m. Virar fast local from Churchgate station after work. All this, to reach home safely in time to be able to cook her drunkard abusive husband, taunting in laws and mischievous ungrateful kids a delicious dinner. What would freedom mean to her?

Raju:

Just when I began feeling a bit uncomfortable with the flow of thoughts, the thought of Raju came to my mind. Yes, Raju, who works from 5:00 am to 11:00 pm at a tea stall at the end of my lane. He has varied hobbies, from cleaning the table to washing the tea cups; he has been made to love all of it. Oh, I forgot to mention, he just celebrated his seventh birthday yesterday amidst great fanfare. The delicacy for the day was a ‘Five Star’ he bought from his weekly savings of a rupee a day. He also had the pleasurable and much sought after company of ‘Moti’ & ‘Seema’, the two beloved pets of Mishraji who also happens to be Raju’s master. ‘Moti’ & ‘Seema’ are lucky, they are often fed a cup of sweet milk, little Raju has never been so lucky yet in his 3 years of dedicated service to Mishraji. What would freedom mean to Raju? Any idea?

Munni:

Just when I was trying to recollect my thoughts around Raju, another great personality struck my mind. “Munni” – the outperformer. Yes, Munni sold orchids, carnations, roses and any other sundry seasonal flowers as handed over to her by her incestuous uncle at the Churchgate Station Signal junction. She was truly an outperformer, better at delivering bottom-line results and meeting her assigned targets better than any other corporate head honcho.

This was her second consecutive week where she had exceeded her target of sales of Rs. 155/- everyday. She got her vada pav for dinner every day that week from her mother who was otherwise busy teaching her younger son the art of persuasive begging at the car windows at the signal junctions. He was underfed for a week too, so that he could look the part when it comes to the real act in a day or two. What do you think freedom would mean to Munni?


Rani:

By now, I was sweating heavily and wanted to go to my building compound for a walk. This was when I banged into an overjoyed Bahadur Singh, my building watchman. This one that Bahadur narrated to me took me a time to fathom. He told me the reason for his delight was ‘Rani’. Bahadur and Rani shared a lot of things in common. For starters they shared a bed last night in Kamathipura and more importantly for Bahadur; Rani also shared his native place in a small village in Nepal. Obvious reason for Bahadur’s excitement was the fact that he had a 16 year old Nepali girl to satiate his wild fantasies. It was dream come true for Bahadur. Something he always wanted! Wonder what freedom would mean to Rani???

Lady Luck...

“The lady luck has eluded us again!!” while reading something, I came across this phrase which made me think. Well, why exactly is luck personified as a “Lady”? What’s the premise of calling it a woman? Is it just another gaffe of the English language?


This thought led me to a dangerous investigation spanning over a week!! And finally I discovered the true genius of the person who must have coined this phrase. Whoever he was (Yea, I’m sure it was a “He”) … Was a man with a deep sense of understanding of the womankind (which isn’t so kind after all…)

Well, let me give a little disclaimer to all women who might just read this, before I go onto state my case:

“Dear Lady Reader, I know of the cardinal universal truth that WOMEN are the superior of the 2 genders. They are also smarter, more intelligent and better looking than us men, who apparently are the most fitting descendents of ancient chimps!”

(I’m sure this made all of you happy enough for me to still claim my right to live after you all read this!!!)

Okay, so now, coming back to justifying why Luck is a Lady, and mind you, not an ordinary one at that. Yes, these are only my observations… Read on and decide for yourself…

• We men perennially blame __________ for our blunders?? …. (It’s on since Adam & Eve…)
• While a man is down and needs something to pep him up, he just needs a ________coming his way!
• Men always complaining of not having enough of it!
• The success of every man, is always, invariably attributed to them!
• They are both extremely unpredictable _______ can turn either ways overnight!
• Why do you think, the few religious minded morons go to the temple? What do you think they pray for?
• Who are the only people laughing, while a man cries?
• Whom do they hate the most, us MEN of course!!
• Haven’t you ever seen your best friend have more and better of it than what you’ve got?
• They are the only things that one needs during exams to relieve stress.
• You go crazy, when you have too much of them
• You just cant live without it
• No amount of it is enough for you, there's always room for more of them in your life....

This is the last one, but I think the best one....

It's the only thing that you possibly had last night when you slept, and is missing or gone... when you woke up today morning..........So pray that it doesn't happen to you!!!

The Secret! - An Original....

I sat and wondered who leaders are?
Why are they bestowed with so much power?
Don’t they ever fight nor have a rift?
Is it all a supernatural gift?

Are Gandhi & Mandela only about a name?
Is it really easy to claim such fame?
Why do people admire them, the way they do?
And why are such leaders so far and few?

On my journey to this intriguing quest,
I put myself to learning & test.
It wasn’t easy to reach the core,
But its only when you sail, you touch the shore.

Believe me, the secret wasn’t easy to find,
I somehow knew, it all started in the mind.
On pressing my search a bit further more,
Passion was a thread that came to the fore.

Self belief was virtue I knew,
My faith in it was refreshed anew,
Principles and beliefs moulded these men,
On honesty they’d all score a perfect ten.

Leaders are, the ones who dare,
For their people, they truly care,
Luck in their lives, played hardly any part,
More than mind, they heeded their heart.

They were the ones who sowed the seed,
Without the selfishness or any greed,
Life’s a tug of war, and you need to pull
If you want it to be happy and full,

They left indelible images on the sands of time,
I end it here; there’s no more I can rhyme!
I share with you, my learning for your sake,
Always in the end, the love you take,
Is equal to the love you make!!

So... when do you know it's love?

Hey... what a refreshing change!!! Just saw an amazingly fresh & genuinely "Hatke" movie after a long time!! "Jaane Tu... " delivers a much needed dose of the antidote of originality.

But as I watched the movie, the punchline of the movie especially caught my attention.

"So when do you know it's love??"

Is there a set definition, criteria or a parameter fixed to determine the exact timing of the occurance of this four lettered divine phenomena called LOVE? Is Love just an illusion? Can one actually time it? Can one actually determine that It's about to happen???....... I really dont know.

Love to me is the transcendence of all of one's emotional affinity towards the person they like. It's everything, yet nothing in tangible terms. The mere concept of LOVE, as celebrated by poets & artists is infinite and cannot be measured. More importantly it cannot be timed either. It's a breath of fresh air, you cant see it, but its there. It's the blessing of the Holy Force to the mankind, you cant measure it, but it exists! Love as they say, is the cause as well as effect. It justifies the ends as well as the means!!

Okay, thats fine.... but the question yet remains... "So When do u know it's love" and not just infactuation? or attraction.... or is it just friendship??? Believe me... on intense introspection, I think, there is no one else who can tell you "When It's Love...." You are your best judge......

It's Love... when her sms stays in your inbox forever!!
It's Love.. when despite the traffic you take a longer route to drop her back home.
It's Love.. when you wait for her call all night...
It's Love... when you talk to her all day
It's Love... when you want to offer your only umbrella to her and you get wet!
Sometimes.. love is when you purposely forget your umbrella at home to share hers!!

Love is not about taking... as much as it is about giving!!
Love is about creating magic, when there isn't any!!
Love is friendship.................... in its purest form!

Most of all.... Believe me... "Its love if you're thinking about him / her while reading this post"

So, just go and call the person up right now, let them know that they mean the world to you!! And express your love before it's too late!!!

Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost......

Oh, it’s another one of those Sunday evenings… Family is out at a neighbor’s engagement and I am giving myself some pleasurable company.

Where do I find myself… my favourite playground… my terrace! It’s my temple of introspection. It’s my favourite hangout when I’m with myself… It’s my space… which again for the sheer sake of emphasis …. Is MINE!

That’s a space… which generates ideas, thoughts, and inspiration. Something like what a temple does to a devotee who’s disheartened. The sheer power to bring hope to someone is I think God’s biggest USP! That’s what my time with myself at my terrace does to me. It springs hope, positivity and the sheer optimism which keeps me alive and kicking.

When I entered the terrace, I was disheartened, resentful about a particular series of events that have occurred in my life in the recent past. I just got an SMS from her. It’s in fact been a volley of the most idiotic way of communication I know (SMS), exchanged between us today after a prolonged sabbatical of recognition of each others existence.

Disheartened I was, regretting what had been, comparing it to what could have been. Sometimes, you never get logical answers to why people say a few things, feel the way they do, and more ironically express how they feel, the way they do. After all, I thought womankind was meant to be the more sensitive sex!! And everything and everyone deserves a second chance was the age old biblical adage.

But irrespective of all that, I was more disheartened to see, what had been built over almost four years of pure unconditional love, being blown away by something which was partially inexplicable. Almost like a sand castle painstakingly made by a child, being washed away by a ruthless surge of an almost maniac tide.

After all not everything goes your way. People change. People’s preferences change. And most importantly Perceptions change. The latter being the most important I guess.

Believe me, there are times when you just sit back and wonder, what is that one defining moment of your life?? You seek answers…. Sometimes you get them… sometimes you don’t. I just think sometimes it’s good not to seek those answers at all. Let just life take its own course. You just need to be a spectator and let the show go on. Perhaps that’s why they call life a stage… well… on my stage… It’s an interval now… You’ll definitely see a new protagonist soon!!