How To Kill Hope? - A Letter To A Dear Friend!

Life is indeed strange. Just a few months back, I did not know this person, but once we started talking, I realized that I know her as well or probably better than she knows herself. So, like we do very often, we were having this extremely interesting night conversation about relationships and hope. How the two are interlinked. We fondly call these talks of ours “Therapy”!!! And during the course of this heart to heart convo, there I was, thrown this question at me. “So tell me, how can I kill hope?” ………………… this sentence was followed by a prolonged silence from me, which is quite unusual and strange for a non stop chatterbox that I am. “Yes, go on, tell me, How to kill hope?”

There are some questions that make you think, and then, there are some that don’t let you sleep! This one was definitely the latter kinds. I told her, “This is so cool, thanks for giving me a topic I can think on, and blog about. I will reply to your question through my article.” And here I am, writing this piece, despite being devoid of sleep due to this lingering thought and a suspected rat in my room since yesterday!

How to kill hope?

By definition, “Hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life.” Hope is the feeling that, what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. So, in essence, hope is nothing but a glorified hypothesis.

Hope was personified in Greek mythology as Elpis. When Pandora opened Pandora's Box, she let out all the evils except one: hope. Apparently, the Greeks considered hope to be as dangerous as all the world's evils. But without hope to accompany all their troubles, humanity was filled with despair. It was a great relief when Pandora revisited her box and let out hope as well. It may be worthy to note that in the story, hope is represented as weakly leaving the box, but is in effect far more potent than any of the major evils.

So, if you put hope in context to human relationships, especially the ones that haven’t gone terribly right, what is the effect? Human relationships are inherently weird. At least I believe so. When we think we know all the answers, life comes and changes all the questions.

All our young lives we search for someone to love. Someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope... all the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, there's someone perfect... who might be searching for us. And in this pursuit of finding that ONE made for us, we let our heart weep every now and then. That’s when we feel the need to cling onto hope, catch hold of the last straw, and make ourselves believe that Yes, What I had, was indeed the ONE… let me do everything I can to save it. We disguise hope, and keep giving it to ourselves in its falsest form, knowing fully well that we are just catering to our subconscious, just because we don’t feel like letting it go, just yet.

Change is never easy. You fight to hold on. You fight to let go. We forget that If we have to emphasize or defend the importance of something, then it probably isn't that important in the first place. I guess sometimes the ground can shift between your feet. Sometimes your footing slips. You stumble. And sometimes you grab what's close to you and hold on as tight as you can by calling it hope.
Over the course of our average lifetime we meet a lot of people. Some of them
stick with us through thick and thin. Some weave their way through our life
and disappear forever. But once in a while someone comes along who earns a
permanent place in our hearts. We just don’t realize that we should wait for that one to find us rather than clinging onto false hopes we’ve gifted ourselves about the one who never deserved us in the first place.

Growing up and out of relationships is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what's to come. But I think, subconsciously, we know it is time to let go of what has been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, we don't have to hate each other for getting over. We just have to forgive ourselves... for moving on, just because that’s the right thing to do. In essence, you don’t really need to “Kill Hope”. Just place hope where it deserves to be placed. On those better things, beautiful people, memorable times, prepare for the magic called life that is just waiting to unfold!! And yea, do it with a smile, she’ll feel welcomed!! :-)