In Defense of Enthusiastic Plunging

Read a blog post by one of my favourite writers, Elizabeth Gilbert..... Sharing it here...

IN DEFENSE OF ENTHUSIASTIC PLUNGING...

Dear Wonderfuls —

We've spoken on this page about perfectionism already, right? You guys all know by now how I feel about it? (AGAINST.) For me, perfectly good has always been way better than perfect. Also, "perfect" does not exist (except perhaps in certain salted caramels) so when you're chasing perfect, you're chasing a myth. Which will probably leave you both tired and disappointed.

Perfectionism is the assassin of so many wonderful things (and remember: you can't spell "assassin" without two asses). Perfection can kill relationships, simple pleasures, holiday gatherings, entire months of your life...and most certainly creativity.

In women particularly, I've found, perfectionism can take an especially destructive turn — it can prevent you from putting yourself forward in the world. You don't want to speak out until your ideas are perfect. You don't want to try out a foreign language until your accent is perfect. You don't want to present your art, or music, or writing, or discoveries, suggestions to anyone until you are absolutely sure it's all beyond criticism, beyond reproach, beyond doubt — immaculate and masterful.

Boy, is that gonna slow you down.

What I keep trying to tell women — especially young women — is not to hold yourself back in the world until you're certain that you are perfect. Because there is not enough time for that. We need you here NOW, as you are, which is almost certainly GOOD ENOUGH. Speak now. Act now. Try now. Raise your voice now. Throw your ideas into the ring now. Show somebody your work now. Ask for the promotion now. Present your questions and doubts and suggestions now.

And please forgive me, but I just have to say it: Not being entirely sure if they were absolutely correct never stopped men from speaking out or plunging in. (See Mr. Allen, below...and a million other examples across the centuries besides.) So join them.

Plunge, everyone.

Plunge, plunge, plunge.

PLUNGE!

Liz

Special 26

At 26, life is a lot like our wardrobes, organised in parts but largely all over the place. It’s that time we realize that childhood has ditched us and long moved on. Adulthood is like an uninvited guest. It's here, but we hardly want to acknowledge its presence!

 26, is also slightly confusing. Almost like the sudden commercial break that pops up, while you're engrossed in the climax of an intense romantic drama on TV. You don't know what to do when it hits you. It makes you feel empowered and in control of things, people and situations. You feel, it's your time. You're poised for world domination. Dreams suddenly seem achievable. And then one day, you cry like a baby, when your girlfriend / boyfriend break up with you citing "Compatibility Issues"

It also makes you that much more vulnerable. Vulnerable because you know you've grown out of being the boy who wanted to party each weekend but you haven't yet fully grown into being a man who can enjoy a single malt and a hearty conversation for a Saturday night!

You're independent but still the second signatory to your bank account after your dad. Your mom trusts the maid over you to get the best bargain on the monthly grocery shopping despite you acing your dissertation on contract negotiation in your final semester.

26, it’s a bit like entering the 8th grade in school. It leaves you puzzled whether to be happy about the transition to trousers or be sad about the fact that you're still not eligible to be appointed the Head Boy. It is largely a confusion that arises out of expectations, partly those that emanate from others, largely the residue of complexities of the ones which are your own.

The phase, a paradox of emotions, gives you the high of gloating in your new-found confidence which gets credited with your salary every beginning of the month. Short-lived though, only to be deflated by the information that your college buddy who's Haka Noodles lunch you paid for in college, spends that much on his weeknight out with his office colleagues. His visiting card carries the logo of the company you've yearned to work for and his assistant informs you that he's travelling to Cannes / The Oscars to look for good content when you call his office, while his cell phone is out of coverage area.

A Facebook status update / a pic tweeted by your school friend whose greatest achievement for life you thought would be graduating college without an ATKT is  surrounded by ladies on the red carpet. You read on and figure that he's touted to be the next big thing in Bollywood and his Foursquare update a week later reads ... "ABC just checked in at Eiffel Tower, Paris" with his moronic smile bulging out of the picture. This phase has a special talent at making you feel big one moment and belittling your ego the next!

Adding to that, at 26, you also realize that the world as you know it, can be divided into 3 kinds of people - 'Engaged', 'To be married' and 'Newly Married' people. These 3 categories will encapsulate the entire spectrum of mankind to have ever walked on this planet. Your Facebook timeline starts resembling a wedding album and the Foursquare check in updates of your friends could be easily compiled into the list of best honeymoon destinations around the world.

All your crushes have found their crushes leaving you crushed. The neighbor who thought you were ‘Cute’ as a kid now refuses to recognize you when you ask for the spare key to your house when parents are away.

Yes, I know, 26 is a time, that can make you wish the Mayans were right. It drives you nuts. It personifies insanity. It's insane.

However, it is also special. It’s special because it allows you the space to discover your true friends, your hobbies and interests, at a point, discover your true self. It makes you expressive beyond your own imagination. It sensitizes you in its own unique way to human emotions, the way you never felt them before.

 It makes you realize the importance of family. It makes you realize what it takes to be truly ‘happy’. It pushes you against the walls. It enables you to nurture and cultivate responsibility, without thrusting it upon you accidentally. It makes you stronger without killing you.

While you dance to the song of heartbreak and love, yearning for the ‘Perfect one’ to be with, you don’t realise that it is this 26, which makes you a better person. A person your ‘Perfect One’ would love to be with!

When love beckons...

"When love beckons to you, follow him; though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you, yield to him; though the sword hidden among his opinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you, believe in him; though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden. For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning. Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth...... 

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure, Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor, Into the season less world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears. Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. 

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love. And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself. 

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love; And to bleed willingly and joyfully."

— Khalil Gibran

When comes such another...?

A leader is an individual who has followers. This is the simplest definition of leadership known to me. Every society acts as a nursery of leadership and influence in diverse ways. Sports, theatre, arts, education and industry all provide great avenues for effective leadership to emerge and get acknowledged by the society. However, the most visible and obvious platform for exemplary leadership has always been politics and governance.

Today, a pioneer of one distinct brand of political leadership in India takes his last journey. Balasaheb Keshav Thackeray has passed away and with his passing, however, cliché it may sound, an era has certainly ended. A cartoonist, a social reformer’s son, an activist and lastly a political behemoth in Maharashtra has breathed his last. A larger than life personality and a Godfather of sorts who claimed that his dictatorial iron fist of leadership was needed for progress today lays silent.

The spirit of regionalism was ushered in through the ‘Samyukta Maharashtra’ movement in the 1950’s. Prabodhankar Thackeray, balasaheb’s social reformer father was an integral part of this movement. Balasaheb at the time, was a cartoonist at the Free Press Journal, who had broken out to launch his own newsletter ‘Marmik’ which fought against the growing influence of Gujaratis and South Indians in Maharashtra. His father very passionately on a fine day in 1966 at Shivaji Park, launched him into mainstream politics by offering his “Bal” meaning Son in Marathi for the service of Maharashtra. Shiv Sena, an aggressive political outfit was thus born.

Some might say, he was an opportunist, who found a great chance to tap into the anger seeped into public sentiment due to the communist phase in Maharashtra through the 1960’s. Nehru died in 1964, Lal Bahadur Shastri in 1966 and the Congress was headless in that phase of a suffering economy full of stagflation. He instigated the support of the hoi polloi which felt deprived of chances and opportunities to progress. He fought for quotas in Government jobs for local youths.  He fought against the South Indians and later Gujaratis dominating the city of Mumbai emerging as the true ‘Son of the soil’ or a ‘Pranti’ as he preferred to call himself. He instilled in his people a sense of pride, who earlier felt humiliated in their own land. Nobody dared refer to them as “Ghaatis” in their own land post Shiv Sena’s ascent. His greatest gift perhaps to his people, was their self-respect.

He took over the reins of the industrial labour unions and he established his local network of ‘Shakhas’ which were local units / branches responsible to carry forward the work and ideology right down to the grassroots level.  Post the Babri Masjid demolition and the 1992 riots, his nuanced moves ensured that he got pitted as the “Hindu Hriday Samrat” (The king of Hindu hearts) further propelling him as a perceived strong Hindutva force in a strong alliance with the BJP. He was the Godfather to Bollywood giving them protection against the increasing horrors of the powerful Mumbai underworld. He stood behind a helpless father Sunil Dutt, looking to get justice for his erratic movie star son Sanjay. This ability to forge enduring relationship across party lines and ideologies is what truly made him a remarkable paternal figure.

The turn of the millennium saw surging aspirations and aspirations always lead to defections. He lost trusted lieutenants like Chagan Bhujbal, Narayan Rane who left him to pursue their growing aspirations. His biggest blow came when his own protégé, Raj Thackerary, his nephew, who he was extremely close to and fond of broke away from the Shiv Sena to form his own outfit called ‘Maharashtra Navnirman Sena.’ 2004 Assembly election loss, partially crushed him, age did it’s thing too.

His appeal lied in the feudal concept of the rulers being the protectors of the interest of the ruled. His spirit of nationalism was unparalleled. His views were debatable, questionable and to some simply unacceptable, still, there are not many leaders who spoke their mind with as much conviction as him.

Legacy is a wonderful thing; it normally finds its deserving owner. If it is unable to do so, it erodes a part of itself at the hands of its creator. Balasaheb’s largest shortcoming some may say, is this ineffective handover of his legacy.  

It is ironic that historically, Indian political leadership comes from two divergent ends of the ideological spectrum. The 'Servant Leadership' of Gandhi or that of 'Constructive Violence' of Bal Thackeray. The void in between the two is why this nation suffers. As I exercise my fingers typing out this obituary, there are 2 million people crawling the streets of Mumbai following their fallen leader. There’s this lingering line which resurfaces in my memory from Julius Ceaser, when Antony says of Julius Ceaser, "Here was a Ceaser, When comes such another?"

Images Courtesy - Google Images

The Leadership Paradox - India & USA

I'm sure by now, no-one is a stranger to the financial turmoil the world is currently witnessing. How much of it is systemic and how much is caused by simple human vices like greed, corruption and dishonesty is anybody's guess. 

In India, the last week saw the Government, who till date was going from scam-to-scam, announce a slew of reform measures. The response to this, as expected was agitation and allies of the Government pulling out in protest. In this hour of serious financial distress across the world, especially in India & the United States, what emerges is the paradoxically deviant approach to leadership adopted ironically, by two leaders, both of whom have been labelled as under-performers. 

This thought got accentuated today morning, when, while reading my daily newspapers, I read the remarks of a feeble economist who finds himself leading a sixth of the world, more by default rather than by desire.  The Indian PM invoked the economic crisis of 1991 and the benefits of the hard steps that the country had then taken with him as the finance minister.

In his statement, he says and I quote, "The last time we faced this problem was in 1991. Nobody was willing to lend us even small amounts of money then. We came out of that crisis by taking strong resolute steps. You can see the positive results of those steps. We are not in that situation today, but we must act before people lose confidence in our economy,"

This is a typical Indian political response, where a leader reminds people of a gloomier past to paint a less murky picture of the present. Future, however, features nowhere in the conversation. We specialize in fire-fighting the present by taking solace from the horrors of the past. We justify our current state of being by bench-marking it with a time when we were worse off.

Contrast this, to the messages which were and are being consciously and constantly being sent out by the Obama campaign. They speak of "Change" and "Hope". They seek to instill a certain degree of confidence in the average American psyche, that "Yes, we can" tide over this crisis together. While, I say this, I am conscious of the impending Presidential election and the mud-slinging that it brings along with it. Still, there is a certain degree of dignity and vision for the future which is constantly the cornerstone of any discussion. 

The purpose of this rant, was not to demean a state or a leader nor even to glorify another. The aim was to highlight the alarming difference in the leadership style exhibited and accepted by different people in different nations. Eventually, the buck stops at us, the hoi polloi. Let us embrace a dialogue that revolves around our collective future by harnessing our collective wisdom. Let's not jump to petty ideological fences and shun the rigidity of thought. Let's stop promising, let's start doing! 

You can read the detailed report on - Indian PM Manmohan Singh's address to the nation

Image Courtesy - Google Images

How do you hold your own in the corporate world?

So we have recently graduated from our B-School and have joined our new workplaces post MBA! All raring to go again, awaiting to give the corporate India a passionate embrace. Suddenly, a close friend sends me these questions on mail and that get's me thinking... Here I share her questions and my reply. Hope it helps...

Q - "How do you hold your own in the corporate world? How do you find the balance between your uniqueness and imbibing the corporate culture? Most of all, how do you pretend to 'like' everything?"

Response - I truly believe that organisations mirror society. You'll find all sorts of people there. We have worked before MBA and during Summers, this exposure might have helped us form perceptions, notions and beliefs. Adding to that, each organisation has a unique culture. Some respect hierarchy more stringently than others, some crave for newness in thought and action, and there are some who are in transit, in the process of moving from one pattern to another.

It is quite easy for us to get lost in this chaos. However, I followed these simple tenets in my stint which have helped me a lot. Sharing them with you, hoping they might add some value:

• Shed the baggage of the past, but not completely. Identify what worked for you previously, see if it can work again, if you feel it can't dump the funda & move on.
• Identify as quickly as possible - "How exactly does the company make its money", "What are the things that matter most to the organisation. Talk that language. You're more likely to get better attention from people. You'll make more sense to them.
• Informal mentors - Identify people you can connect with, people who've been in the system, who can help you understand how you can get embedded in the system without losing your identity. (typically college alumni or an ex colleague, friend or an acquaintance)
• Expand your internal network as much as you can. You never know who can help you when. Be friendly, wish people good morning and generally look at things with an optimism.
• Be patient. Don't jump to conclusions. Don't judge too soon, give everything time.
• Don't wish to change the world in your first stint. Look at simple incremental changes which will help the org better existing processes rather than proposing big revamps.
• Figure out what you want to do the most, be true to yourself. Don't think any work assigned to you is small or insignificant
• Your Manager is your best friend. Make an effort to build a rapport. Share, voice, suggest, learn & initiate.
• Ignore the small talkers, gossip mongers, and the Cynics & the "NO" people (The one's who always think, act and behave in negation). Trust me every company is full of such cartoons. Avoid them, look at them and smile, they are your source of competitive advantage! :)

Most of all..... SMILE - It always works!

Bollywood for life...

There are things that affect us.. and then there are those that mould or change our lives forever. Bollywood for most of us has just been a source of entertainment, for some even obsession, however for me, it has often been a great source of learning.

There is a great body of recognised / unrecognised work which has gone into making the hindi film industry what it is today and I'm sure there are those who realise that there is a great deal of quality which has also churned out of this dream weaving factory.

Today, I list 5 bollywood tracks which have shaped my outlook towards life. These songs embody the ethos, the spirit of life for me. These are gems which act as a beacon when I'm lost or just plainly down and out. These songs surely entertained us in the context of the films they were a part of, but for me, they did just that little bit more... they taught me how to live my life....

1) Kisi ki muskurahaton pe ho nisar - Anari
2) Ae zindagi gale laga le - Sadma
3) Aane wala pal - Golmaal (When I write Golmaal, I always mean the old Amol Palekar one!)
4) Zindagi ki yahi reet hai - Mr. India
5) Yeh safar... bahut hai kathin magar - 1942 A Love Story

Har Ek Friend Zaroori Hota Hai....

Friends are like umbrellas. They save us from being soaked when life pours itself upon us. Friends, some of whom we flaunt akin to expensive art collected over the years, valuable for our social status, but we don’t know a thing about them. Some others, we meet very rarely, almost as elusive as sunshine during rains. Lastly, there are those who stick by us like our shadows, making themselves visible when the sun burns overhead and happily fading away while we comfort ourselves in the shades of our happiness!

Friends are thus as dispensable as the breath we take; reminding us of their importance every living second of our lives, in their absence we’d truly be dead.

Capitalist & entrepreneurially fertile minds have increasingly found ways to monetize this emerging need for socialisation, affiliation and addiction to social belongingness. All of us need witnesses to our lives, nobody wants to die unnoticed. We all want to archive our lives, want to preserve it for posterity and subconsciously hope someone would find it interesting enough to revisit it while we are gone. All of us are born to tell stories, we are born to listen to them.

This has created an entire psychological ecosystem whereby we ‘share’, ‘connect’ and ‘express’ ourselves to everything and everyone around us. This craving of over 800 million people has found great manifestation through Facebook. A platform which helps us chronicle our thoughts, emotions and feelings all at the same time, while enabling us to get instant feedback on it from people who matter to us. This fills a deep psychological lacuna which has existed for centuries together – ‘Our need to express ourselves and to know how people react to our expressions.’

Facebook and its IPO will be as significant a breakthrough in the history of mankind if not more significant than us landing on the moon. Come to think of it, this is the first time the human feelings, emotions and thoughts are going to be valued. Facebook’s plan to raise $5 Billion through stock sale will dwarf the $1.7 Billion raised by Google Inc. in 2004 or the $1 Billion recently raised by the gaming firm Zynga.

This is not the only mind boggling number, a peek into the draft IPO filings reveal staggering valuations Facebook is asking for. Analysts suggest Facebook could be $75-100 Billion Company. That’s 100 times the company’s annual earnings and 27 times its revenue at the higher end of its valuation. Interestingly, it translates into $125 per user. That is what my life, emotions, thoughts and feelings are going to fetch Facebook as on date, just because I chose to share my life with the world through them.

While it may seem totally out of sync with the peer Google Inc’s current Price to Earning Ratio of 20, Google too entered the market with an IPO price that was 218 times its earnings and more importantly it lived upto the hype. We now await more miracles of this capitalist day and age which will monetize more of us in times to come and show us the true value of what we’ve always considered the intangibles.

Hope now you know why, “Har ek friend zaroori hota hai!”

Why do you write?

"The question we writers are asked most often, the favorite question, is: Why do you write? I write because I have an innate need to write. I write because I can’t do normal work as other people do. I write because I want to read books like the ones I write. I write because I am angry at everyone. I write because I love sitting in a room all day writing. I write because I can partake of real life o...nly by changing it. I write because I want others, the whole world, to know what sort of life we lived, and continue to live, in Istanbul, in Turkey.

I write because I love the smell of paper, pen, and ink. I write because I believe in literature, in the art of the novel, more than I believe in anything else. I write because it is a habit, a passion. I write because I am afraid of being forgotten. I write because I like the glory and interest that writing brings. I write to be alone. Perhaps I write because I hope to understand why I am so very, very angry at everyone. I write because I like to be read. I write because once I have begun a novel, an essay, a page I want to finish it. I write because everyone expects me to write. I write because I have a childish belief in the immortality of libraries, and in the way my books sit on the shelf. I write because it is exciting to turn all life’s beauties and riches into words. I write not to tell a story but to compose a story. I write because I wish to escape from the foreboding that there is a place I must go but—as in a dream—can’t quite get to. I write because I have never managed to be happy. I write to be happy."

 - Orhan Pamuk

This is why he is one of my all time favourite authors!

Milkshake - Street Poetry - Before Sunrise

One of my favourite poems - "Milkshake" from one of my all time favourite movies... Before Sunrise... It's about two souls who accidentally meet and enjoy the virtues of a journey rather than the destination! 

Oh! for this vagabondish disenchantment....



Daydream delusion

Limousine Eyelash

Oh, baby with your pretty face

Drop a tear in my wineglass

Look at those big eyes

See what you mean to me

Sweet cakes and milkshakes

I am a delusion angel

I am a fantasy parade

I want you to know what I think

Don’t want you to guess anymore

You have no idea where I came from

We have no idea where we’re going

Launched in life

Like branches in the river

Flowing downstream

Caught in the current

I’ll carry you. You’ll carry me

That’s how it could be

Don’t you know me?

Don’t you know me by now?

 

Power - My Take

Power is... when you get a call. You cut the call. Instead of you worrying about the consequences, the caller worries about them. This is called Power!