Losing to win

This article, written by Raghu Krishnan appeared in Times of India on Jun 13, 2011

It has had a profound influence on me, hence I thought it deserves to be shared:

The 2011 French Open tennis championship will be remembered for the final between the then-five-time men's singles' title-holder Rafael Nadal and the winner of 16 Grand Slam tournaments, Roger Federer. It will be remembered for the 220-minute semifinal which Nadal in almost journalistic style previewed as "a match between the world's best tennis player (Novak Djokovic) and the greatest player in history (Federer)". However, the real champion of this year's French Open was neither Nadal, nor Federer, nor Djokovic, and not even the other semi-finalist Andy Murray, but the virtually unknown Michael Berrer.

It was while playing Berrer in the third round of the French Open that Murray twisted his ankle while rushing to return a drop shot. When the match resumed, Murray, with a heavily-strapped ankle, limped through to a three-set win by going for his shots so that he did not aggravate the injury by staying too long on the court. Until the injury, Berrer had been playing drop shots to exploit Murray's reluctance to leave the baseline. He stopped playing drop shots once the injured Murray returned to the court. Berrer later explained that he was reluctant to play drop shots against an injured opponent who could not move freely.

It is only over the last few seasons that the 30-year-old Berrer has graduated from the level of a journeyman, meaning someone not in the top 100 of the fiercely-contested ATP world men's singles rankings. After reaching the third round of the French Open, Berrer is ranked 79. That could have been much higher if he had defeated the injured Murray, ranked four. Weeks ago, Murray had tormented an injured Gilles Simon with drop shots and been booed off the court at Monte Carlo. Which could explain why the Guardian's tennis correspondent Kevin Mitchell described the 24-year-old Murray's French Open triumph as "a distinctly odd win over Berrer who took compassion for his fellow human beings to heights only Mother Teresa would understand."

Khwaishein... (A wish...)

यह सारी करामात कम्बक्थ ख्वाईशों की है...

जब भी मन बहला के उन्हें सुला देता हूँ....

यह कम्बक्थ दिल की पुकार से....

फिर जाग जाती है. 

कुछ लोग उन्हें सपनों का नाम देकर नकार देते है..

कुछ और हमें शेख चिल्ली पुकार लेते है... 

इनकी अटखेलियों का मिजाज़ खूब है... 

हाथ आते आते कमबख्त... फिर आगे भाग जातीं है... 

इनके जलवे देखें है कहियों ने...

इनका सजदा करते है सभी... 

कहतें है ताकत बहुत है इनमे... 

मौत के मूह से यह कभी... ज़िन्दगी के दो पल मांग लाती है..  

यह सारी करामात कम्बक्थ ख्वाईशों की है......

(Image Courtesy: Google Images)

Child from Charlie & The Chocolate Factory...

There's a child in each one of us. There are people and situations which often catalyze our interface with that child within us. Yesterday, my best friend Olivia took me to Crossword bookstore for therapy. She had carried with her the proof of her brother's employer's benevolence. 


Yes, his company had given him a Crossword Gift Voucher worth Rs. 2500 which the bike junkie had even more benevolently passed onto his little sister who since birth is an epitome of everything Mother Teresa ever stood for. Well, with so much good going around, someone had to agree to be the beneficiary, so I rose to the occasion!! ;-)


Here's what happened when I got a chance to feel like that child from Charlie & The Chocolate Factory! :D

What does it take to be happy?

This was a thought I’d been harboring for a while. A cheerful smile, a jog for a mile, a warm hug, a beer mug,  a cute pooch  who licks or random chick flicks, the variety  of things that make us happy have never ceased to amaze me. It shows how different we are from each other.

The pleasure of the small pleasures of life is in recognition of the fact that they are small yet pleasurable. So how do we know when we are happy? How do we know what exactly made us happy, when we are happy?

In my own assessment and my fetish for theorizing and creating frameworks, I’ve classified the sources of pleasures into the following broad categories:

·       Intellectual Pleasure – This kind of pleasure refers to the happiness one derives from getting intellectual value additions. It is either through assimilation of knowledge, insights or realisations which make one feel a sense of achievement or a mild enlightenment. It is the euphoria of fulfilled curiosity, of a question that gets answered. Thinking, reasoning, analysing and learning are the fundamental traits that separate us, the human creed from other creatures of nature. This is that fundamental pleasure which seeks to titillate the intellectual senses of a human being. It broadly refers to the topmost layer of Maslow’s hierarchy of perceived learning or Self Actualisation. That’s what scriptures have glorified as ‘Nirvana’ – The eternal state attained by the ‘learned’

·         Emotional Pleasure - This kind of pleasure usually refers to feeling of being wanted, loved. We feel emotional pleasure when our deeply entrenched needs of association and belongingness are fulfilled. Be a compliment from a loved one or just an “I Love You” does it for us. As per Maslow’s hierarchy, the pleasure one experiences upon fulfilment of the emotional safety, security and socialisation needs.

·         Physical Pleasure – The absolute crude bodily pleasure experienced by us would be categorized under Physical Pleasure. These pleasures predominantly deal with the happiness one experienced through any of the 5 sense of (Touch, Smell, Feel, Taste and Sight). It could be a pleasure of getting a spa massage or the taste of your favourite chocolate or the fragrance of your preferred perfume. These pleasures are highly dependent on choices or preferences of each unique individual and any generalisations would not be fair.

·         Materialistic Pleasure – The happiness derived out of material tangible possession is the source of this pleasure. This pleasure is highly relevant based on the financial power and desires of an individual. Materialistic pleasure can be derived from anything ranging from a lollipop to a private island. It is the joy derived from possession and ownership of material things. 

Amazing words from an amazing ad - AIRTEL - Express Yourself

Recently, I got a chance to work an Advertising project. This project gave me a chance to study the trends in Indian advertising, study some of the best ads and the thought process behind them. I personally found myself attracted to this particular campaign by Bharti Airtel, the largest mobile telecom operator in India. The campaign was very famous when it was launched and I particularly love the copywriting done... the words are just superb... they mean so much!!!

Nigaahen nigaahon se milakar toh dekho, naye logon se rishta banakar toh dekho. Khaamoshi se kab hoti hain khwaishein poori? Dil ki baat batakar toh dekho. Jo hai dil mein, usse kar do bayan. Khudko ek baar, jatakar toh dekho. Aasman simat jayega tumhare aagosh mein, chahat ki baahein failakar toh dekho. Nigaahen nigaahon se milakar toh dekho... Dil ki baat batakar toh dekho!!!

 



Dhobi Ghat - My Take...

Dhobi Ghat is not a film. It is an experience. It is poetry in motion. Like a true product of creativity, it arouses extreme reactions. It will either seep in deep within you like a slow pain or it will surpass you, take you by surprise much like a midsummer night shower, leaving you wondering in bewilderment about what just happened.

The whole experience has an ethereal feel. The traversing emotions and the interspersed interactions of 4 human beings and their aspirations paint a mystical landscape of paradoxical realism and the inexplicable dream world.

The characters are Shai, played by Monica Dogra, an NRI investment banker who is back in Mumbai for a sabbatical and change of pace of life. Arun, essayed by Aamir Khan, an angst-ridden artist who has a one-night stand with Shai but has little affection or time for her the next morning.
Munna, played by Prateik, a dhobi with dreams of becoming an actor. And Yasmin, a young married Muslim girl, played by Kriti Malhotra, who makes video diaries for her brother that Arun discovers.

The movie beautifully captures the essence of varied relationships and explores their foundations based on the social milieu of Mumbai. From posh art galleries to narrow gullies of slums, from the high rises of the city to the Dhobi Ghat. The film raises questions on the basis and foundations of contemporary relationships. Can relationships really transcend cultural, social and more importantly, economic barriers? It also addresses relevant social issues of migrants in the city, their lifestyle and the day to day struggle; they call life – depicted beautifully in the scene where Munna’s shanty leaks due to water from the rains.

The cinematography is par excellence and captures the life in the city of Mumbai in such an impactful manner that at times, it even overshadows the characters. Kiran has displayed an uncanny maturity and unparalleled understanding of human behaviour when she portrays the scene where Munna visits Shai’s upmarket house for the first time ever, and heads to sit on the floor when asked to sit. She has also beautifully captured the egalitarian soul and spirit of Shai’s character when she picks up the not so fancy cup of tea brought on purpose by Shai’s maid befitting Munna’s social status over the fancy crockery one.

Dhobi Ghat is poetry as narrated by a seasoned poet, a rendition by a true maestro, you might just think its slow in the beginning but your have to wait for it to build up and reach the crescendo of its peak. It challenges you intellectually. It compels you to think. It persuades you into noticing the small hidden gems like the overall tribute to Salman or the quality and the timing of the background music “Sab Moh Maya Hai.” It will surely leave you stirred from within, slightly contemplative, slightly reflectively and majorly melancholy. It’s an emotional ride you should subject yourself to, at least once just to see how it affects you.

I want to Live!!

At times, it so happens that you read something and it happens to articulate exactly what's playing on your mind. Yesterday, I read this passage from what is turning out to be an 'experience to cherish' kind of a book - 'Notes To Self' by Hugh Prather. It's one of those books your friends always told you about, but you resisted reading it, thinking "It's just not my type." This book reinstates my belief that literature (Fiction / Non-Fiction) which enables us to reconnect with ourselves is the most enduring in nature!

Amidst this festive season of reflection and renewal, I was thinking what my approach in this coming year should be since I cannot be a follower of rigidity of thought and confinement of my spirit in close ended targets set for myself called "Resolutions." This passage, beautifully describes what I want to do, rather how I want to do it....Here it goes...Prather says....

"Today, I want to do things, to be doing them, not to be doing something else. I don't want to drive to get there, make love to have climaxes, or study to 'keep abreast.'

I do not want to do things to sell myself on myself. I don't want to do nice things for people so that I will be 'nice.' I don't want to make money, I want to work to work.

Today, I don't want to live for, I want to live!!" :-)

Stay Raw!!!

I just came across the MTV “Stay Raw” campaign. It is revolutionary. In a sense liberating. How often do we find ourselves critiquing things which are an integral part of our identity? How often do we feel embarrassed because of what we are called or who we are or how we look? There’s a constant fear of being judged because of how we eat, what we wear and where we live.


We consciously try to do things which fit our perception of what is socially acceptable, even though it is far away from what we actually feel like doing. The need for social conformity just usurps our true self. We say things people want to hear. Do what they want us to do. Feel the way they want us to. Subconsciously we hand over the remote control of our feelings to others and act according to what’s pressed or rather impressed upon us. Its subconscious, yet a meek emotional surrender.


In doing all of this, our little true self is lost. We forget who we really are. What we stand for. What we wish to stand for. We forget to take pride in ourselves, for the individuals we were born as and for the person we are today. We need to recognise the fact that wherever we currently are, we surely have come a long way, since our first day!


So go ahead, whoever you are, wherever you are, cherish your being. Celebrate your existence. Cos there’s just no-one exactly quite like you. You’re unique. No matter how twisted you are, its always fun. Being true to yourself is ultimately a good feeling. Beat the world and stay on top. Try till you succeed and still if you don’t, stay amateur. No matter what the situation is, stay cheerful. It’s cool to be whacky and crazy at times, so go ahead. No matter how different you are, always stay proud of yourself, Stay original, Stay Raw!!

Jaago Re....

We Indians have an unparalleled fetish for Power. Since time immemorial, power struggles have been well chronicled throughout Indian history. Sons have killed fathers and brothers have massacred each other for the sake of the throne. Families have plotted and deceitfully undone their own blood in their pursuit of power. Be it the Mahabharata, Ramayana or the Muhgal Empire, this theme runs through all of ancient history of India. The important question to ask though is what happens after we acquire that power?

Spiderman gave us this most wonderful line, “With great power comes great responsibility” – well yea, he’s American – he can say it. He wouldn’t have dared to say that if he was an Indian.

We’ve been known to screw up when we have great power. Our regulatory Institutions themselves have time and come into question with their integrity. Be it the BBCI, The Income Tax Department, The Election Commission, The Indian Olympic Association, the relatively well respected Indian Armed Forces who were considered to be a great “Adarsh” have also now been tainted with suspicion. All major Indian Regulatory Entities, by and large love self destruction. TRAI and the Raja scam is the latest to join the list!!

Indian policymakers take corruption to be the norm and exceptions to the norm are ridiculed. It is this attitude of taking things lying down that has perpetuated this deep rooted rot over the years.

We young Indians, who are certainly going to be in positions of power and responsibility in the times to come, need to introspect and walk the talk on making India a respected or a ridiculed state. As the clutter breaking advertisement says, it is indeed time for us to “Jaago Re...”

Eat Pray Love - Comfort Food for my soul!!!

It's truly quite rare that one comes accross lines in a book or a movie that connect so deeply with your inner self and manifest some of your deepest emotions into words.

I had a similar experience with this wonderful journey of life which has been articulated by Elizabeth Gilbert into her book "Eat Pray Love" and then converted into a motion picture starring Julia Roberts, the most apt protagonist to essay the part. The lines which mirrored my soul are.....


""If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts (in every definition of the word), I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will protect upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check. I will give you all this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else."

Whole - Greater than the sum of its parts!!

There was a superb blog post that I recently came accross called "One Minus Some Is Still One..."  which propagated the thought that being 'Lonely' and being 'Alone' are two different things. Being lonely has a negative connotation and being alone is a positive state of mind. When we forge relationships to get rid of our lonliness, we're effectively cheating the other person. However the article proposed that we must love to be in love with being alone. We must learn to first be in love with ourselves only then think of forging relationships. (by relationships - one doesnt mean the spousal / romantic ones only). The following was my reply to a friend who asked me for my feedback on the thought!!..... Sharing it here as I'd love to know what you think on this...

I was contemplating upon this article I read and have been thinking of my reaction to it.....

And I never knew I would EVER begin articulating my thoughts, the way I’m about to. Using Maths!!!

When it comes to relationships, we need to understand the basic arithmatic behind it.

We need to recognise that two, is not just a literal summation of one plus one. We must learn to respect it as an entity in itself. Give it the recognition of being an individual whole number itself rather than constantly viewing it as a sum of two real numbers. Only when we learn to recognise this fact, can we learn to nurture and develop our relationship to the fullest.

We must realise that in the case of human relationships, some of parts (can / should) never be greater than the whole. Lest, we develop fault lines in our relationship ebbing from our deepest routed vice – ego. Hence whether I'm lonely / alone should not really count as long as my intent, commitment, conviction and belief in the relationship is pure and sacrosanct. We need to attach far greater importance to the invisible entity we create (relationship) by our mutual consent, rather than the mental, physical, emotional and physiological state of its constituents (us).

A relationship is a mutually beneficial excercise based on mutual consent. Much like the trades that happen on a stock market. One buys only when the other is willing to sell. As long as both are happy indulging in the act, their intent of buying and selling seldom counts. It can never be a zero-sum game for anyone.
 I partially agree with the subtlety of difference in connotation of ‘being lonely’ and ‘being alone’, however the extrapolation of that concept to interpret individual behaviour in relationships, is something I'd humbly disagree with.

 “I strongly believe that one should first come to terms with one’s own loneliness before entering into a relationship”

When we say this, we truly undermine the power of the phenomena of creation of relationships. Have we wondered how to relationships get formed? (Apart from the ones that are thrust upon us). I think we need to then question the basis of formation of our relationships. Having a precondition of not being ‘lonely’ before entering a relationship would certainly blow away chances of a potentially great relationship being formed on the basis of that loneliness itself where one of the stakeholders acts a beacon of inspiration, companionship and a source of genuine love and affection to the other to alleviate him from his current lonely state. And mind you, this is not done as an act of help or charity. It involves real feelings of real people.

Secondly, another glaring omission in consideration, was the thought that in neither the state of being lonely or alone, is sustainable over a period of time. However, being positively socially engaged in a relationship, if managed well, can bring sustained happiness, fulfilment, joy and satisfaction to us.

We can ask for ‘alone’ time out of a relationship, if we feel disconnected with ourselves for a bit, but the converse is just not possible!!

Transformation of loneliness to aloneness is an act of self deception. A certain mind game, we convince ourselves that we need to play solo!

In my view, attempting to try and create a compelling environment for ourselves which enables us to create and cultivate positive relationships, is the ultimate way of creating enriching experiences, which ultimately make life worth living!!!